The Practice of Surrender

In the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, Ishvara Pranidhana (translated as "surrender to a higher/ divine power" ) is the final Niyama. Niyamas are specific guidelines for the "inner practices" of yoga. They are a type of roadmap for cultivating inner qualities that bring you closer to enlightenment. They also bring you closer to the Divine nature within you. In my mind, the Niyamas are helpful tools and reminders to bring more peace, emotional stability, mental health, and wellbeing into my life as well as the lives of those I am in contact with.

In our Western culture the concept of surrendering often has a negative connotation. We are a country of fighters! We "never surrender", we value independence, strong will, and we are often "battling" against something or someone, with the inner conviction that we will never give up. This way of thinking has left us with too many bloody battlefields littered with wounded soldiers and dead bodies- literally and metaphorically.

The wise sages of past, as well as many enlightened beings and peacemakers, speak of a different pathway. They teach the concept of Surrender.

Many students have asked me what exactly that means. The concept is quiet foreign to most of us. And the big question is How to Surrender!

We must understand that like all of the Niyamas, Ishvara Pranadhana, is a PRACTICE. That means it requires some time, effort and repitition. Like most practices, some will have a natural inclination, and for others it will require strong effort. Some will find it a challenging and lengthy process to learn, others will fall into like quite easily. The rewards will be the same for all. Personally I have found this practice to be paradigm shifiting! The ease that it has brought my mind, emotions and life were well worth the effort of practice. Like all practices, it requires some SPACE. We always need to be mindful to create space for rest, journaling, reflection and meditation. So I would say, step one, create a little time and space for yourself, it doesn't have to be a lot.

In my opinion spiritual processes are never linear. But I also understand that the modern mind needs some type of map, or linear pathway, to begin the journey. So I humbly offer some techniques and guidelines for the practice of Surrender. You may practice these in any order, or maybe just work with one or two concepts. No rules here.

1) Loosen your grip on control. The mind/ ego will tell you that you will NEED to DO something and put effort into the outcome, otherwise all hell will break loose, there will be mayhem, embarresment, failure, ruin or worse. Experiment. What happens if you step back and Do Nothing? What happens if you don't try to control a situation, a relationship, a projoect, an outcome, an event, or anything else. What if you act only out of love and joy, instead of fear and worry? Take steps that bring you joy, take on responsibiities that are uplifitng to you instead of the ones that suck joy out of your life. Learn to say no, kindly but firmly. What happens if your compeletly Surrender the outcome of a situation to The Divine. Hand it right over to God/ Goddess/ The Universe/ The Big Loving and Fun Creator in the Sky etc. and then just dance with "what is" ??? This can be a daily practice, of letting go of one little thing, it may be as simple as saying no to someone's request, as saying fuck it to the preparing a perfect meal, try showing up without an item you think you need, not running the errand, not replying to the text message immediately, try winging it a little here and there and trusting that things will work out. Let go of the fear of disappointing others.

2) Let go of attachments. First you must discover what your attachments are! What do you feel like you "need" to be happy? And just loosen up a bit on that. You can be happy with surprisingly little; happiness is an inside job! Can you let go of some habits, material items, things or ways of being that help you feel secure and comfortable. Can you let go of beliefs and ideas that you cling to on how you should be? or how the world should be? Experiment.

3) Let go of perfection. Have some compassion for yourself and others if you or they don't live up to your standards. Its also good idea to take a look at your standards, where did they come from? Are you as an adult still living under your first grade teacher's expectations? If you lean towards perfectionism maybe untangle that a bit. Does that quality serve you or does it prevent you from a living a creative joyful life. The idea of the perfect outcome is a lie. Can you create something just for fun? Can you allow your life to be messy and flawed, and joyfully laugh about it? Can you work hard on a project and love it for its imperfections? Perfection is lie. It is propagated by media to keep us unhappy and to thereby promote materialism. Materialism is our cultures answer to unhappiness. Be a revolutionary and banish perfectionism.

4) ASK! If you are suffering, having difficulties, dealing with trauma, illness, pain, addiction or poverty this practice involves cultivating a deep understanding that you will never be able to fix any of this yourself. We must humbly request, or cry out, for help from the Divine. If you do not believe in a Loving Higher Power, you must excavate the situations, teachings or conditioning that have led to believe that your alone in a cold heartless universe. You must untangle these beliefs and discover what is really true in your heart and soul. YOU MUST ASK FOR HELP. I know many of us don't like the idea of asking for anything, but this is non- negotiable. You must simply, from a humble heart, ask for help from a Higher Power. That request might be even asking for help to surrender! Its ok to ask repeatedly, as long as the request is heartfelt. I guess I need to clarify something here too. When we are asking for help, we must ask for that which will help us internally. For example if you are dealing with poverty, you do not ask to win the lotto. It would benefit you more to ask to be shown a way that you can give, create or serve in the world that will bring you abundance. We surrender the attachment to the finanacial outcome (or any outcome) and ask to receive the inner qualities that will help us and others. We ask to recieve clear guidence, we ask to recieve a deeper connection to Spirit, we ask how we may benefit others, we ask for courage, acceptance, forgiveness, transformation, strength, self love, compassion, wisdom, and peace. We ask for whatever inner quality we may be lacking. For me, I always ask for patience lol. I run short on that quite often. And if we are confused and lost, we can always just ask for HELP! Sometimes it will come quickly, sometimes there is a time lag, but what you ask for will always come if it is in alignment with your highest good.

5) Let go of outcomes. When you work some might feel like they are only doing it for the money. The money is the outcome. What if you work for the challenge, for the growth, for the benefit of others, and surrender the outcome. Be okay with any outcome. Be really ok with failure and with success. This is the same with any activity or relationship. Be in it fully for the present moment, surrender any outcome you are hoping to gain. Our attachments to outcomes is really limiting, if we let that go, there may be outcomes that are beyond our imagination!

6) And finally if you feel defeated, broken, hurt and at rock bottom, that is ok. Allow yourself to feel that fully, as painful as it is, and know that it is temporary. You are being broken apart so that something new can be created. You will become the most beautiful collage created out of the broken pieces of your past self. All that is required is that you let go, that you surrender it all to the Divine, that you trust in the higher power, and that you stop trying to make it all better yourself. Give up the fight, give up your ego, and beliefs on how things should be. If you are afraid, ask for Trust and Faith. Then find acceptance and love and beauty exactly where you are. Let your tears flow, let them water the seeds of the new life that is being co- created with you the Divine in every moment.

PS- I realize that in this writing I often recommend "excavating" or "untangling" beliefs and inner ways of being due to situations, trauma, conditioning, teachings, upbringings etc. This work is most powerful if done with the help of another, through counseling, dreamwork sessions, spiritual coaching, or working with a healer or a mentor. The ability of a witness or wise soul to reflect back to us what we may be missing, or what we are blocking is incredibly valuable. Allowing ourselves consistent support is a priceless gift. Collaboration with another trusted being can make the process less painful and frustrating. It can actually become fun and interesting! The journey of healing ourselves (and thus healing the planet!) can not be done alone.